When I try to press the point, when I ask "Is anything wrong with me, how can I improve?" â my interlocutors impatiently detach, seldom to reappear. When I try to balance the equation by (very rarely) asking for a commensurate service or a favour in return â I am utterly ignored or my request is curtly and monosyllabically declined.
It's like people are saying:
"You are such a loathsome being that merely keeping your company is a sacrifice. You should bribe us to associate with you, however coolly. You should buy our icy friendship and our limited willingness to listen. You deserve no better than these concessions that we are granting you reluctantly. You should feel grateful that we agree to take that which you have to give us. Expect nothing in return but our truncated attention."
And I, the mental leper, endorse these terms of dubious endearment. I dole out gifts: my knowledge, my contacts, my political influence, my writing skills (such as they are). All I ask in return is not to be abandoned hastily, a few moments of make-belief, of feigned grace. I acquiesce in the asymmetry of my relationships, for I deserve no better and have known no differently since my early tortured childhood.
(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)
March 5, 2014 Subject:
Who would know better?
This person appears in many of my searches when in the process of widening my scope of understanding around the human mind and the maladies that may befall it.
He has no formal education on the subjects he makes blanket statements about, and according to him, everyone walking the earth is a serious danger to themselves and others.
While I agree on a certain level, that the nature of earthlings has yet to evolve into that of a caring and open paradyme, it has become evident that the views offered are wholly his own, and by offering them in such an enthusiastic air of certainty, those that are hoodwinked are encouraged to diagnose themselves and others, which can only lead to self doubt, fear, judgements and sentencing others to wear a badge of "inferior" in the eyes of this pontificator of the value around declaring others unfit.
On occasion he hits upon valid content, with about the same odds as giving 1,000,000 chimps 1,000,000 typewriters and having quantum physics defined as the result via the laws of chance.
He's guessing, make no mistake. His attitude is that of any well trained citizen which has learned the value of fear when attempting to control large numbers of people.
I'd advise others not to be afraid of ignoring him, as he most likely, when his insights and their delivery are examined, suffers from many, if not all the highly specific mental health issues he defines with amazingly brazen assuredness when, more often than not, is most assuredly incorrect.
As is the case with human beings, life may feel a little empty at times -- this is when his words seem comforting; like those of a religious zealot, the edicts offered are purely a product of his own mind, fantasy offered to the confused with a hefty price tag attached, both emotionally and monetarily.
That he has't started a fringe religious organization, I find surprising and expect it is "in the works."
Watch closely--he will take this review, word for word, and declare me a sufferer of Borderline Personality Disorder, the incurable cancer of mental disorders.